Don’t Let the Sadness Sweep Me Away

Living and dying through your last words, I’m caught up in feelings that I thought I had forever driven out of my mind.
Clinging to all that you provide, every little smirk, every token of gratitude, and every morsel of hope. 
I try to imagine something, anything with you, well before a single thought should even enter my head.
And, all so quickly, I am reminded all over again that there is much work left to do.

These are thoughts I have been taught to curb. These are waves of emotions I should know how to limit. 
These are feelings that I’ve spent massive amounts of time and considerable quantities of energy trying to harness.
Yet here I am, curled up in a fetal position on the ground, staring off into the darkness, unable to lift even a single finger.
And, all so quickly, I’m reminded all over again that there is much work left to do.

Let me lay still in the gloom of these empty moments, but don’t let the sadness sweep me away.
Let the hope of a better day cleanse me in these most trying of moments.

When this chilling apprehension tears through these empty corridors, I remind myself that he is in control.
When all feels hopeless, I am comforted by the fact that I have been here before.
While it feels cruel, agonizing, and unfair, I’ve learned that this is something I must just ride out.
Time will pass, and days will get lost, but this is something that I will be able to battle through.  

Visualizing a moment that I believe could change my life in the most meaningful of ways one moment. 
But then envisioning how I am going to miss out on it all the very next.
When hope liberates me one moment but fear dismantles me the next, I am made aware that I am as human as they get.
When it feels as if this tumultuous night could be my last, I tell myself not to leave before the miracle happens.

Let me lay still in the gloom of these empty moments, but don’t let the sadness sweep me away.
Let the hope of a better day cleanse me in these most trying of moments.

I am so caught up in you that it has inhibited my ability to function.
Passionately driven one moment but filled with the most severe thoughts of despair the next.
The power to make or break my heart unfairly rests in the palms of your hands.
I realize I have left myself completely exposed at an extremely vulnerable time.

Darkness, do your damage, and then let me be.
I know you’ll be ruthless, unmerciful, and you will have no intention to relent.
These feelings of anguish may drag on for days, maybe weeks, maybe months, or maybe even longer.
But I have fought myself out of the depths deeper than this, and I have come back cleaner and stronger each time.

Let me lay still in the gloom of these empty moments, but don’t let the sadness sweep me away.
Let the hope of a better day cleanse me in these most trying of moments.