There Will Come a Day

There will come a day when this no longer matters.
…when I’ll no longer feel like I was used and mistreated until ultimately left discarded as if I never mattered.
…when I’ll see you on the street and not immediately start to walk the other way.
…when I’ll successfully be able to scroll through an album of photos and not have to force my eyes to look away.
…when I’ll no longer expect a text message to randomly brighten my phone screen as I am bundled in a ball of despair.

There will come a day when my life returns to normalcy.
…when I’ll be able to wake up each morning without missing you immediately.
…when I’ll no longer have to fake my emotions, wondering how I’ll get myself through each day.
…when I can walk past your home and not lose myself remembering happier times.
…when I won’t go to sleep each night with tears in my eyes, recalling the good times we had shared.

But right now, there is just pain, insurmountable amounts of pain that seem to know no end.
Impassable amounts of agony knock me to my knees when I’m least expecting it.
Elongated moments of despair have me craving aid from anyone willing to provide.
The suffering is ever-present, and I desire nothing more to rid myself of this desperation.

There will come a day when I will have successfully moved on.
…when your mental health, physical safety, and overall wellbeing will no longer be of my chief concern.
…when these intrusive thoughts that govern my days and rule my emotional well-being will dissipate.
…when I will no longer dream of various scenarios that would bring us back together.
…when I will stop trying to analyze your reasons for wanting to erase me from your life permanently.

There will come a day when the opportunities for future happiness will excite me once again.
…when I will no longer dwell on the negative words you so effortlessly spoke towards me.
…when I won’t occupy my mind with the events that pulled us together and then drove us apart.
…when I’ll be able to accept that this wasn’t about me and this would have happened regardless of my actions.
…when these emotional wounds will have healed entirely, and I’ll be able to offer a smile once again.

But right now, there is just pain, insurmountable amounts of pain that seem to know no end.
Impassable amounts of agony knock me to my knees when I’m least expecting it.
Elongated moments of despair have me craving the aid from anyone willing to provide.
The suffering is ever-present, and I desire nothing more to rid myself of this desperation.