Savannah

With trembling fingers, he lifts his phone, only to immediately fumble back into his sitting lap. His entire body shakes uneasily. He reminds himself to breathe. Breathe first. If what I’m seeking with this task could lead me to so much joy, then why am I filled with so much trepidation? He glances at the half-crumbled photo, one he kept in his wallet for far more time than he was willing to admit, that is now pinned to the bottom of a corkboard hung just above his desk. Assuredly, he nods to himself, fully aware of his answer. Because it’s worth it. Because she’s worth it.

Maybe this is the season to do the uncomfortable rather than simply refraining from the comfortable, riskless alternative.

This phone call is something that he’s pondered. It has been something that has received its fair share of prayers. The thought of this type of debilitating rejection has held him back. The fear has, at times, been paralyzing. It has been crippling. While there have been lost battles along the way, the war continues to rage. No longer will he allow his timidity, distress, or anxiety to keep him from stepping into this uncharted vulnerability. Her window has remained ajar, but at some point, it will close. It sure would be nice to seal it off from the inside.

Perhaps this is the season to do the uncomfortable rather than simply refraining from a comfortable, riskless alternative.

Journals tossed and scattered across the room’s four corners, not out of haste, but in a purposeful, deliberate manner. Written thoughts revisited. Comfort cards rediscovered. Forgotten words that needed rereading. A lifetime of evidence presented by himself and others that have exemplified his authenticity, compassion, faithfulness, and steadfast consistency. Family and friends have shown their admiration in unique ways for years. It’s been far more than enough to assure himself that he is a person of value.

Yes, this is the season to do the uncomfortable rather than simply refraining from a comfortable, riskless alternative.

The man stretches his arms towards heaven, not with pleads for answers or a sign, but with gratitude for having already been provided the tools in which he needs to succeed. With catalogs of resources and a team of supporters, he has plenty around him to cushion any fall. Thoughts of ‘what if she says no’ have comfortably replaced overwhelming thoughts of ‘’what if she says no.’ An answer of no will sting, but it will not dimmish my worth. This may bring joy, and it may bring sorrow. But I’ve surrounded myself with an army of wise and loving people who will be there with support.

This is the season. Today is the day. You have all that you need and more. Be confident. Pick up the phone.

With conviction, he grasps his phone. Resiliently, he presses send and promises himself he won’t hang up. He breathes deeply and sighs heavily. A new tingling sensation, perhaps one of confidence or maybe just a heightened maturity, jets through his veins. A long ring. A long pause. Assuredly, I can do this. Another long ring. Another long pause. Confidently, Believe in yourself. A third ring. A third pause. I’m worth it. A fourth ring is pleasantly interrupted by a friendly, familiar voice. “Hello?”