I Shut It Off
I shut it off
What used to get through now stops with you
I slammed the door closed when you entered my life
A life wasted I’ll entertain no more
Because you turned me on to what I had convinced myself that I’d never have
For you, I shut it off forever
I shut it off when you let me in
What used to get through now stops with you
I shut it off when you gave me this chance
Drifting aimlessly through this life, I will no more
Thank you for this chance; I’ve never cherished anything more
For you, I shut it off completely
I shut it all off when you decided I was worth this risk
What used to get through now stops with you
I said never again when you shared with me the truest feelings you’ve ever known
Meaningless will never be associated with my name again
Purpose-driven I am, and it’s all because of you
Locked shut permanently is that once gaping door
I shut it off the day our lips locked for the first time
What used to get through now stops with you
I laughed in its face when it teased me about jeopardizing this gift I was given
I’ve never been one to cry, but then I’ve never been this overcome with joy
Thank you for allowing me to feel significant
The greatest force in the world can no longer knock down what I so easily shut out
I shut it off completely when you became the first who touched my soul
What used to get through now stops with you
I defeated its pressures when you gave me a reason to come home
Though I walked into this blindly, I wouldn’t change a thing
Committing myself to doing all in my power to make you happy
Exiting these shadows for the last time, I’m guided by the promise of better days ahead
I shut it off when you said you loved me so much it scared you
What used to get through now stops with you
When I feel defeated, your presence alone lets me know you’re on my side forever
When things seem like they can’t get worse, I gain strength just from thinking about you
With you by my side, I embrace all that is and am grateful for each day
For you, I turn it off forever and lend you all my tomorrows
This was my favorite poem for a long while. I wrote 16 poems for my Volume III book. Most of them were very, very somber. I think that this is the only one of the 16 that did not contain an element of sadness. While this poem is not sad, it revolves around a person who probably was living a very dark life before meeting the person who is speaking these words. This poem is so full of hope and strength. The speaker isn't wavering. The speaker isn't wishing to be someone he's not. He's committed to not letting the life he led to get in the way of the life that he is ready to lead. He needed a reason and a reason he found.
Written in 2006
Copyright, The Poetry of Bryan Buser