I Write This Today
When I read this tomorrow, what will I say?
Will I share the same feelings that I feel today?
Though far in the future, I pen this for me
I pen to envision the things I can’t see
Will I cringe, will I cry, will I laugh, will I smile?
Will we walk hand in hand or fall out of style
If somehow I could, would I read your mind?
What about me would I come to find?
And it’s not yet a concern these words that I write
But it is such a comfort to write these words tonight
I ponder the possibility of you by my side
And while I try to deny it, it’s a thought I can’t hide
When I wonder, I smile because it shows I do care
It show’s you’ve captured more than my stare
And what tomorrow will bring changes nothing right now
I want to limit my hope, but I just don’t know how
There’s a good inside you, something so undefined
It has me happy and smiling with you on my mind
A smile you must wear each day when you wake
You’ve got a side so genuine; it’s just too hard to fake
But of course, there’s more, a side out of eye
I don’t know it all, but I might like to try
I’ve seen you happy, but not as much sad?
I’ve watched as you’ve laughed, but what makes you mad?
Answers far forward and perhaps never known
Questions not asked, feelings not shown
Rejection or regret, they both hurt the same
But to not at least try would sure be a shame
But I write what I feel, and these words feel true
These words flow so easily, inspired by you
Next week. Next month. Who knows what they’ll bring
But I write this today, and I won’t change a thing
I wrote this the day before I went on a first date with someone. The girl was a friend, and I got to know her through a few different gatherings. I had liked her for a brief period of time and finally got the nerve to ask her out. She said yes. I was elated and super excited, but I tried to curtail my expectations. Ideas began fluttering in my head, and I wanted to get them down on paper. I also wanted to finish the poem before the date because I knew my feelings would change (for the better or the worse, but in some fashion, they would change). I wanted to get everything on paper before things turned for the better or ended right then and there. It was the anticipation of what might be that really got me excited. If the date didn't go great, I didn't want to go back and change the poem's tone or rewrite it completely. I wanted the feelings I had at that moment to be captured and not a word of the poem to be changed after that date occurred. Writing this poem was pure joy. I like this poem a lot.
Written in 2003
Copyright, The Poetry of Bryan Buser