A Time Far Gone

A meeting that was more than twelve years in the waiting.
And a restoration that had been more than twelve months in the making.
Cautiously distancing ourselves from anything that was more than skin deep.
Anything too soon could have pierced nerves that could have caused irreversible harm.
Remembering a time when life wasn’t necessarily easier yet felt much simpler.
 
Familiar phrases, digital photos of scrapbook mementos, and other shared memories.
Comfortable dialogue about our health, family, careers, and other measured accomplishments.
Carefully tiptoeing around sensitive, yet timely issues, a reluctance to surrender too much too early.
Getting reacquainted the best way two people can do over texts, phone calls, and video chats.
Remembering a time far gone and wondering if that past happiness can reignite this flame.
 
A visit that I presumed would heighten my senses to previously unattained levels.
Instead had me feeling dull and indifferent; unwilling to forget past hurt, disinclined to forgive past wounds.
A reunion that should have evoked complex emotions and stirred a simmering pot of mixed feelings.
Instead had me feeling flat and removed; uninterested in dedicating to this any more time, energy, or care.    
 
A meeting that was more than twelve years in the waiting.
And a restoration that had been more than twelve months in the making.
Gradually shifting the tones with each subsequent conversation; gentleness, warmness, sincerity.
The rigidity of this newness was slowly broken down with each kind word, with each thoughtful gesture.
Remembering a time when life wasn’t necessarily easier but was filled with such genuine love.
 
Intimate discussions that gradually cultivated trust and allowed our vulnerabilities to shine through.
Secure in the video chats to present candid smiles, offer open-ended compliments, and flirt with one other.
Returning our souls to a period of our lives where honesty, adoration, and mutual respect guided our every day.
Losing ourselves entirely in the allure of the what once was and the promise of what could be again.
Remembering a time far gone and wondering if that past happiness can reignite this flame.
 
A visit that I presumed would restore my heart to the only time where it truly felt full.
Instead had me feeling distracted and detached, unmoved by the moment, unconcerned with the situation.
A reunion that I assumed would have us picking up right where we left off all of those years ago.
Instead had me feeling joyless and apathetic, uninterested in investing in this any more thought, affection, or want.   

An unfinished encounter between two former lovers, one that had been anticipated for years. It's the imaging of it, the lead-up prior to it, and then that pinnacle moment of unification that fails to live up to the anticipation.

This is the sequel to the poem Until We Meet Again.

Written in 2018

Copyright, The Poetry of Bryan Buser