Ten Cuidado Con Mi Corazón

Ten cuidado con mi corazón y prometo que tener cuidado con la suya.
Be careful with my heart and I promise I’ll be careful with yours.

The curve of your upper lip when you smiled would cause butterflies to stir throughout my stomach.
Getting lost in your dark brown eyes quickly became my favorite way to spend an evening.  
Eased by your calming fingers as they lightly traced my arm, sending shivers down my spine
Reassured when you laid your head on my chest and drifted into a night of restful sleep.

Talk out your issues with me when they arise, and I’ll do the same.
Meet me halfway and together we can make this work.
This life is messy and unpredictable, but we will communicate.
With an approach towards honesty, a lot of hard work, and a little luck, just maybe we can make it.
This was what we said. This was what we promised.

I kissed so blindly.
I loved so haphazardly.
I dreamed so desperately.
I fell so hard.

Erased so effortlessly as if I never even existed has challenged me in ways previously unknown.
I meander through my days searching aimlessly for someone, anyone, with whom I can connect.
I struggle through the nights with a grief that I have never before encountered.
My mornings greet me with a loneliness I never knew before you left my life. 

Right now it feels like tomorrow might never come.
Right now it feels as if the sun may never shine again.
Right now it feels as if my pain will consume me completely.
Right now it feels as if this hurt will stay forever.

Ten cuidado con mi corazón y prometo que tener cuidado con la suya.
Be careful with my heart and I promise I’ll be careful with yours.

With a purpose defined, I looked forward to each moment we were able to spend together.
I waited my entire life to say, “you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen”.
It felt special speaking such tender phrases as, “this feels more special than any time before”.
Delicate strings of words that I now know I should have saved to use for someone far more deserving.

I kissed so blindly.
I loved so haphazardly.
I dreamed so desperately.
I fell so hard.

Battered. Bruised. Abused. Used. Defeated. Discarded
The pains of past experiences have not prepared me for the heartache of today.
My strategies, therapies, and medicines are all failing me when I need them the most.
The agony of the loss I feel at this moment has become far too great for me to bear.

Right now it feels like tomorrow might never come.
Right now it feels as if the sun may never shine again.
Right now it feels as if my pain will consume me completely.
Right now it feels as if this hurt will stay forever.

Either falling in love with the person who wasn't meant for you or falling in love with the right person who was meant for you, but at the wrong time. Rejection can take on so many forms; ways that will all process differently.

Written in 2017

Copyright, The Poetry of Bryan Buser