Part-time Girlfriend
Fabricating a side of me that you know isn’t there
But one which you long for that makes you still care
What I don’t feel is what you won’t let yourself believe
I know why you look away when I’m about to leave
I know I should stay, but one foot’s out the door
Your hopes, wants, and dreams I choose to ignore
The words that I say are nothing but lies
My smile is pretend; this is all just a guise
A part-time girlfriend you should never be
A part-time girlfriend who deserves something more
I should be the one who feels so lucky
I should be the one who is shoved to the side
I should feel this hurt that I so easily put on you
A part-time girlfriend you should never be
Saying all the right things to get in your head
When my only desire is to get in your bed
An idea, to you, of love like a dream
A pretty face, to me, with low self-esteem
You call, you visit, and you show me you care
But I close the door and choose not to share
And visit, I do, when it’s convenient for me
I’m leading you on, but you’re too blind to see
A part-time girlfriend you should never be
A part-time girlfriend who deserves something more
I should be the one who feels so lucky
I should be the one who is shoved to the side
I should feel this hurt that I so easily put on you
A part-time girlfriend you should never be
How can you think love when I offer no affection?
When you look in my eyes and see just your reflection?
Times away or times near, I think of you less
My thoughts on a new girl whom it’s time to impress
A smirk on my face that provides just enough hope
An image to hang onto, which I know helps you cope
Such little I offer, but it’s to that which you cling
Ease towards the end, to lessen this sting
A part-time girlfriend you should never be
A part-time girlfriend who deserves something more
I should be the one who feels so lucky
I should be the one who is shoved to the side
I should feel this hurt that I so easily put on you
A part-time girlfriend you should never be
This poem is just mean, but at the same time shows remorse. The man is leading the woman on until he can secure something new and/or better. She'll never know what hit her though until you've left her without so much as a kind word. He knows that she, and all the women he has been with, deserve something much, much, much better than him, but also is aware that isn't how the world works. So he'll continue his self-satisfying need while wishing her a good fortune with the next man she meets, a man who he knows is much more deserving of her than she is.
Written in 2008
Copyright, The Poetry of Bryan Buser