Surrender

Unfairly, I narrowed my dark eyes towards the heavens and said your name in vain.
Unjustly, I took the blame off myself and placed my anger squarely on your shoulders.
Unjustifiably, I felt that this sadness and rejection resulted from your disapproval and shame.
But now I know differently, and I submissively relinquish my entire existence to you.
 
Father, please lead me out of this debris caused by my self-destruction.
Lord, help me to defeat this never-ending loneliness that has absorbed me wholly.
God, help me overcome this hopelessness that has devoured me entirely.
Creator, free me of these addictive holds that have powered their way into my soul.
 
Too often, I have found myself looking for happiness that I believed existed without you.
I’ve intentionally and unintentionally hurt people and have failed to come to you asking for forgiveness.
But now, I raise my hands towards you in ways that I could have never imagined.
But now, I drop to my knees in prayer, coming to you in ways that only you knew I’d appear.
 
If you free me from the pain and help me come to terms with this turmoil, I will surrender my life to you.
If you help me get through this time when it hurts even to move, I will give you my life.
If you can eliminate these pains that sling me so harshly against the barren ground, I will surrender my life to you.
If you can help me go out of bed and start a day that I can fulfill with purpose, I will devote my life to you.
 
Selfishly, I turned my back on you, thinking that I knew more and that I could do better.
Arrogantly, I walked my own walk, believing my way was right and yours was unneeded.
Greedily, I wanted more while giving less, trusting my instincts even when they continually led me astray.
Egotistically, I abandoned you and followed my own path during the times when I needed you the most.
 
Redeemer, honest and true, I am a mere mortal living in your perfectly created world.
My time on this earth is finite, and, like all others, I will perish one day.
While my health is excellent and my resources plentiful, I crumble with a life that is full of rejection.
Father, I beg you to get me through this most difficult of times in which I can barely raise my head.
 
Lord, if you will free me of this most relenting and unforgiving pain that I’ve ever known, I will devote my life to you.
When others have ignored, forgotten about, or have been unwilling or unable to support me, you have been there.
You have not disappointed me, and you have loved me when I felt like no one else did or ever could again.
And now, as I find myself suffering in ways that I could never have imagined, I have nothing left but to ask of you more.
 
If you free me from the pain and help me come to terms with this turmoil, I will surrender my life to you.
If you can help me go out of bed and start a day that I can fill with purpose, I will devote my life to you.
If you help me get through this time when it hurts even to move, I will give you my life.
If you can eliminate these pains that sling me so harshly against the barren ground, I will surrender my life to you.