Time to Move On
Here we stand now, and we’re face to face
Seeing you again has my mind spinning in a daze
It’s been so long since you stood beside me
When I left you before, I was just too blind to see
That you were the one who I let slip away
I fooled myself into thinking that I’d be okay
As I see you again…
My heart skips a beat
The warmth of your hug…
Has memories rushing back
The gleam in your eyes…
Is such an allure
The smile on your face…
Has me wanting more
I’ve waited for this day now for more than a year
Never seeing you again has been my single biggest fear
But now fate has brought us together, and I’m so glad
Let’s just sit here forever remembering the times that we had
I want to have hope in my life that things will turn right
There’s so much on my mind to share with you tonight…
I want you to know…
That I’ve missed you
I was too afraid then…
To say I love you
But now I am sure...
How much I love you
I know you’re the one…
I want to be with
I want to express my feelings, but before I really can
You begin to talk affectionately about you and some man
And at first, I want to believe that he doesn’t mean a thing
But then you raise your finger and show off your new diamond ring
The shock of the moment is almost too much to take
But a smile of joy is something now that I must fake
I want to deride him…
But it’s not my place
Tell you to leave him today…
But I can’t do that
You seem so in love…
And I’m so jealous
You look so happy…
I’m so jealous
Those times with you I cherish because I’ve been so lonely since
In one single second, you’ve reminded me of all that I miss
Breaking apart from you was my biggest regret
I left you wondering why and I was wrong about that yet
I’m the only person that I have to blame
And my life without you isn’t the same
And when you talk about him…
I listen and try to smile
But when you go back to him…
I know I’ll cry for awhile
I say I’m happy for you…
But I don’t mean it
I say I’m happy for you…
But I’m really not
And now you’re talking with me like you would a normal friend
When you ask to keep in touch, I want to say that it will depend
If there were a chance for us again, then I’d have to say yes
But I know that there isn’t, so I have to confess
That I can’t sit still knowing that he’s kissing you
He’s receiving your love, and all I can do
Is sit here and think about what might have been
Leaving a woman like you has been my biggest sin
And while it’s hard to accept…
I can see that you love him
And by the way that you talk…
I know he loves you too
So it’s time to say goodbye…
We just can’t be friends
It’s time to walk away…
I just can’t be your friend
Please understand…
That it’s just too hard
Please understand…
I just can’t be a friend
This poem is very sad. It was also written near the infancy of the poem writing time of my life. There are problems with the structure and flow, but the message resonates just as strong today as it did back then. This poem will evoke the same emotions for me if I read it five years from now, ten years from, or fifty years from now. As I go back and reread some of my poems, I can see evidence of this theme more than I thought. This is about running into a significant other some time after the relationship has ended. The feelings that instantly run through our minds upon that first glance are so absolutely overwhelming that they cannot be predicted. The more that person meant to you, the stronger these emotions become. The stronger these emotions become, the more unpredictable the encounter might be.
In this poem, the speaker clearly hasn't gotten over the girl and this is evident from his first glance at her. The intensity of his feelings during the relationship coming rushing back to his head and instantly he knows he wants to be with her again. The speaker has not been able to move past the end of the relationship but hasn't truly been able to admit that to himself until that very moment. His heart shatters when she starts talking about her fiance. In this situation the breakup was amicable and there was a love between the two individuals that will never go away. As she joyously talks about him, the speaker forces a smile and has to fake his enthusiasm. She's overcome that pain that came with the end of the relationship. She moved on. She seems happier than ever. He has not moved on. He wants her more at that moment than he's ever wanted her in his life. But he understands it is not his place to re-open that conversation. As hard as is, he forces himself to tell her how happy he is for her while offering his most sincere smile. He will wait until the two-part and his back is to her before his eyes begin to flood with tears.
Written in 2002
Copyright, The Poetry of Bryan Buser